*the unedited rantings of a fat 43 year old menopausal ex -talk show host * -married mother of four- read at your own risk - my spelling sux (add * ocd * adhd * lmnop * suv * dvd * y not me)


rogue waves

the most amazing thing i have seen
since moulin rouge
star wars meets the matrix
magical transformative

i walked into the casino lobby
heard a shrill scream
a sound i had never heard before
blood curdling - desperate
i thought it was a wounded animal
then i saw her

she was 3 - maybe 4
curled up next to a tall
shiny gold ash try

"mommy" she wailed
an ache so raw

six feet away
a man who is not paying any attention
a teen - disinterested and sullen
i thought she was alone

are you the dad i ask
kneeling down next to her
yea he says - all of 24
i try to talk to the child
who has stopped screaming
but is still curled
fetal position

i call her name quietly
as the dad tries to explain
to her trembling back
that i am on tv
she is shivering

where is the mother i ask
trying to quell my rage
it's her birthday
she's playing slots
he says
can u sign this?
handing me the ripped top
off his marboro lights

we go to dinner
i have kobe beef
he was on my show
as a high school all american
a shy boy
his mom was with him
kobe beef

into ka we go
the set alone is worth the ticket price
feels like you are on another planet
inside the thunderdome

this cirque de soleil guy
he is van gogh
right here and now
crazy gifted

ten minutes in
the woman behind me
started singng
perfect pitch
i wanted to turn and look at her
but was afraid she would stop

then i realized
there are speakers in the seats

ok transition

so the norwegian dawn
the boat we chartered last year
for r family vacations
and loved so much
we charted it again
for the crusie this year

that beautiful boat
was hit by a 70 foot rogue wave

noone was seriously hurt
but all were scared shitless no doubt
kel worried this would make people scared
to come on our trip this july

i laughed
cause i thought just the opposite
a 70 foot rogue wave
thats like lightning striking
freakish and odd
the chance of the dawn
being struck by one again
next to nothing

on the whole
speaking selfishly
the rogue was a plus
for us

the company NCL
has been wonderful to us
in every way
the staff - the crew

i heard they offered folks on the boat
1/2 price off another cruise
come on ours!!!!
we will make it up to you
broadway stars nightly
and free stuff daily
and i promise
the piano player
will not play
the theme from titanic

( although that did make me laugh)

and as an aside
bette and tina
together agaun
at last