*the unedited rantings of a fat 43 year old menopausal ex -talk show host * -married mother of four- read at your own risk - my spelling sux (add * ocd * adhd * lmnop * suv * dvd * y not me)



my problem with dave
is a guy named rob

so blake was brand new
had to be feb - march
i am guessing

i was hosting
the grammy's or tony's
something on cbs

i was on the phone with les moonves
(the then and still is boss guy)
the afternoon we all learned
dave had ticker trouble

a casual aside to mr moon v
who spoke of his concern
about sweeps w/o dave

if u r stuck for a host
lemme know - i am here
the end

2 days later
rob barnett calls me
the new ep
i liked the old ep - morty

it's always been ed on the couch
and morty by the desk
change is hard

hello rob i said
and off he went
how dare i
try to steal daves gig
by calling les
"you are not a friend of the letterman show - rosie"

i did a lot of umm's
tried the truth
i have a job
i was just trying to help
i was on the phone because of...

"we don't need your help rosie"

ok so now
today april 2005
i have been asked again to do dave
but - by now
it's been so long
blake is five

i don't see how i can
i doubt i would be comfy
as the "you are not a friend of the letterman show"
tape would run on a loop
as daves mouth moved
and i heard the charlie brown teacher
waa waa waaa

i would try too hard
i can tell
needy is never funny

my long suffering publicist
tries to explain this
to the new ep
a smart sassy woman
who seems kind and determined
i like that in a gal

mr manners barnett
is no longer standing
in mortys place
but he is still around
running would wide pants ...
what if i see him in the elevator
what if i don't

cindy (lsp) says
i should get over it
not hold a grudge
move on
as if

i like dave
i wonder how he has changed
since his boy arrived
from black and white to color
i know he grew a new heart
with harry